by Larry Peers<\/p>\n
I remember the moment a clergy person said, so matter-of-factly, during a retreat: \u201cIf it weren\u2019t for the congregation, I\u2019d be a great leader.\u201d We all broke into laughter. Most of us wanted to believe it. But as pleasant as the fantasy of leadership without anyone else interfering may seem, we can\u2019t lead without a context and followers. We lead imperfect people in imperfect institutions\u2014imperfectly.<\/p>\n Martin Buber said, \u201cAll real living is meeting.<\/a>\u201d Buber once turned away a young student who had come to meet him in his office. When the student arrived, Buber was preoccupied with his own important tasks. He was not present to that student who held a distress in his soul that was not visible to the busyness of Buber.When subsequently Buber learned that that student had committed suicide, Buber had a soul-wrenching revelation of the high cost of a \u201cmissed meeting.\u201d Buber dedicated himself to being present and to genuine dialogical engagement. He advocated for a reciprocity that can only be experienced by turning toward another (even those we attempt to lead) with an embodied presence that is just as willing to be influenced by our interactions.He explored the distinctions and spiritual implications of \u201cI-Thou\u201d and \u201cI-It\u201d relationships. If we become too instrumental (I-It), we miss the potential of being influenced by the quality of the space between us and those we lead. That space, between the I and the Thou is a holy space\u2014requiring our utmost care and attention.<\/p>\n At this point in my life, I am grateful to the imperfect and inadequate organizations that I have encountered\u2014sometimes as a leader within that organization and other times as a consultant. Of course, my gratitude is retrospective\u2014because at the time, I often dreaded those experiences that were most challenging. Sometimes, I was filled with my own set of \u201cIf only\u201d statements: \u201cIf only there were a different senior leader. If only members were more committed, more intelligent, more compassionate\u2026.\u201dOur frustrations can become disappointments\u2014not just with the organization, but also with ourselves: \u201cIf only I were more self-differentiated, calmer, more intelligent\u2026.\u201dOur leadership presence can become like movements in a dance, or elements in a liturgy.\u00a0 I\u2019ll summarize the movements that inform my coaching, consulting, and teaching, and which perhaps could assist you. Each movement has its own timing and contribution to the whole.Each movement begin with an \u201cR\u201d (which might help you remember them.) Before I describe these movements\u2014first pick a specific situation in your leadership or in your congregation. Then, respond to some of the questions under each movement, before going to the next one.<\/p>\n Movement One: Re-viewing What Is.<\/strong>\u00a0There is a spiritual discipline in seeing again, re-viewing with fresh eyes. Sometimes we avoid rather than approach what is already happening. \u201cRe-viewing\u201d is a leadership craft of just noticing what is going on\u2014just as it is\u2014unaltered by our good intentions or wise interventions. We let the situation display itself to us again. We can even try to see it as much as we can from multiple perspectives beyond just our own. If you \u201cre-view\u201d with fresh eyes, what do you notice?<\/p>\n Movement Two: Reflecting on What Is.\u00a0<\/strong>Having re-viewed what is, what are your deeper reflections on this situation? What reveals itself to you is most important? What is at stake if you don\u2019t do anything at all? How does this situation call to you? How does it repel you? For the sake of what do you want to respond and lead?<\/p>\n Movement Three:\u00a0 Revising What Could Be.<\/strong>\u00a0What possibilities that want to come forth in this situation? What scenarios do you want to imagine before you commit to any one path forward? List these as possibilities to consider and stretch your imagination beyond only your typical options.<\/p>\n Movement Four: Recommitting to What Could Be.<\/strong>\u00a0Now is the time to commit. If we rush just to do something without a clear commitment, often we cannot sustain the creative and hard work to make it happen. Our commitment should be expressed in a declarative way: \u201cAs a congregation, we commit to being more attentive to those who are hungering for spiritual community.\u201d Or \u201cAs a leader, I am committed to being a better steward of my time and schedule.\u201d So, after reflecting on the previous movements: What is your commitment moving forward?<\/p>\n Movement 5: Recomposing What is Next.<\/strong>\u00a0The commitment needs to have enough energy behind it to propels you forward toward figuring out how you will live it out. Now, outline what you will do differently to live out your commitment. Use the creative tension between \u201cwhat is\u201d and \u201cwhat could be\u201d to determine what you need to do to act on your commitment. This is where timelines and action steps show up.<\/p>\n Movement 6: Reorganizing for What\u2019s Next.<\/strong>\u00a0Begin to reorder your overall priorities. Now it is time to ask, \u201cWhat do I stop doing?\u201d \u201cWhat do I do more of?\u201d \u201cWhat are our first next steps?\u201dOver the years, these six \u201cR\u201ds have guided the work that I do. They have helped me to identify in a simple way what conversation I am in with a client or organization.Lately, I have decided that there is another \u201cR\u201d essential for this process. I know that we are going to continue to face challenges. We know we will need to keep bouncing back and find ways to re-center and recommit to what\u2019s important to us.This \u201cR\u201d is for Resilience. Unlike the prior movements, resilience is not something we do, but a way of being we can cultivate.At another retreat, I asked clergy to recall moments of resilience in their own life and ministry. We realized that sometimes resilience requires effort. At other times, resilience arrives in a grace-filled way\u2014even after we have given up hope. From these experiences, we defined \u201cresilience\u201d as coming back from a setback, striding forward, being supple under pressure, and replenishing one\u2019s resources.<\/p>\n You may be able to imagine some of the responses of these clergy to the question, \u201cWhat helps you be resilient?\u201d They responded: \u201cKnowing your own limits, absorbing what is happening without taking offense or hanging on to it, having a clear purpose, staying open, having a discipline of being able to let go, finding support, and strengthening my connection to God.\u201dThey listed what hindered their resilience: \u201cWanting to be right, keeping control, not delegating, thinking I have the answers, isolating myself, being reactive, having a short fuse, needing to be liked, failing to recognize my own needs and rhythms, pretending, taking insufficient time to reflect or pause.\u201dIn these responses you may recognize some of your own experiences. What helps and hinders your own resilience?Leadership is bigger than any one of us. The tasks of leadership often mean that we do not see the results. This was expressed in these words of\u00a0Bishop Ken Untener<\/a>:We plant the seeds that one day will grow. by Larry Peers I remember the moment a clergy person said, so matter-of-factly, during a retreat: \u201cIf it weren\u2019t for the congregation, I\u2019d be a great leader.\u201d We all broke into laughter. Most of us wanted to believe it. But … Continue reading Meeting \u201cThem\u201d Where They Are<\/h2>\n
Practicing Embodied Presence<\/h2>\n
Resilience: What Helps?<\/h2>\n
\nWe water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
\nWe lay foundations that will need further development.
\nWe provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.
\nWe cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
\nThis enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
\n\u2026We are prophets of a future not our own.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"